Recovery Poetry Collection

I’m lurking in a long abandoned graveyard
buried here are the memories of a dead childhood
hurriedly shoved into the ground out of fear someone would see it
the vulnerable locked away so only pain and anger were left

I’m grave robbing my own tombstone
whispering apologies as I shovel away dirt
hoping I can save what’s left of my lifeless body
give breath to it like frankenstein’s monster
But instead nurturing it back to health
Letting it coexist with every other part of me
And maybe one day it will nurture me too

a fierce knocking at my door
vibrating the walls and echoing throughout the house
my mansion, my safe haven
dreadfully empty
but I cannot leave. I cannot see what lies outside
the fear paralyzes my entire body

hatred
in my past I hated the outside
having what I did not
being free, being unafraid
imagined sounds outside my door in paranoia
but now I lie awake for a different reason
because I think:
maybe if I can be free too

and I realize what a fool I am for imagining it
the gall to think I belong
the nerve to lie
I bolt the doors, cover the windows
keep music playing and earmuffs on
anything to ignore the urge to explore what’s out there
anything to ignore the knocking

the knocking
louder
and louder
too loud now to drown its beckoning
and I find myself terrified of who’s behind the door
if anyone is even there
or if it’s a figment of my own madness

but its pull is too great to ignore
the curiosity of a thousand cats possesses me
my hand trembles as I twist the knob
I slowly open it

sunlight beams in

and a family welcomes me outside